dude i'm inner monologue high
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
