READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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