I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
