But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
