if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
