I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
