So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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