Farmville is her only friend.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize