i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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