I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
