Small penises have feelings too.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
