i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
