a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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