so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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