saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize