well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
