i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
