I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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