So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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