sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
even my farts smell like vagina
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The feeling are messing with the penis
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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