pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
