Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
