pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
