you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
