Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
