I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
