can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's always time for handjobs
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
