so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
