Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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