If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just found a bag of teeth...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
