Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I got her a Nickelback box set.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
