whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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