I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
