Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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