Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
