I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
