this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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