Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize