I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize