Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
