tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
