Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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