the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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