We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
