Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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