Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
