i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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