i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
