she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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