apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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