I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
