Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
