things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
smell my finger.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
