Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
