How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize