Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
