My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
