JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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