why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
