So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
